Comedy is acting out optimism. |
Cricket is basically baseball on valium. |
Death is nature's way of saying, "Your table's ready." |
Do you think God gets stoned? I think so . . . look at the platypus. |
Freud: If it’s not one thing, it’s your mother. |
Gay robbers came in last night and rearranged the living room |
Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason. |
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. |
God gave us a penis and a brain, but not enough blood to use both at the same time |
Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work! |
He loved politics. He was always an activist on that level, always a fighter. |
He went from looking like a Greek god to becoming Buddha: quiet, contained, but so powerful, ... And he's such a fighter. I thought, 'He's going to the hospital, he'll be OK, he'll come out.' |
His golf bag does not contain a full set of irons. |
I am job... |
I believe that once we are all gone, Keith Richards will still be here...with 5 cockroaches saying 'you know I smoked your uncle, did you know that?' |