I'm looking for Miss Right, or at least, Miss Right Now |
I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you. |
I've actually gone to the zoo and had monkeys shout to me from their cages, "I'm in here when you're walking around like that?" |
If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number? |
If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days. |
If you can remember the sixties, you weren't there. |
If you masturbated with your left hand, would it be like being touched by a retarded person? |
In England, if you commit a crime, the police don't have a gun and you don't have a gun. If you commit a crime, the police will say "Stop, or I'll say stop again." |
It felt wonderful doing it. But that's rather like urinating in brown velvet pants. It can feel wonderful, but no one will watch. |
It has this scope that's outrageous, but yet at the core, these very intimate scenes, so that alone is interesting. |
It's a wonderful feeling when your father becomes not a god but a man to you- when he comes down from the mountain and you see he's this man with weaknesses. And you love him as this whole being, not as a figurehead. |
Look at us -- we're a San Francisco wedding cake. |
Man of the Year |
Marijuana enhances many things, colors, flavors, sensations, but you are certainly not f**king empowered. When you're stoned, you're lucky if you can find your own goddamn feet. The only way it's a performance-enhancing drug is if there's a big f**king Hershey bar at the end of the run. Then you'll be like a Swiss ski jumper going, "I'm there!" |
Men wearing pants so tight that you can tell what religion they are. |