A child develops individuality long before he develops taste. I have seen my kid straggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory -- an empty bottle of gin. |
A child develops individuality long before he discovers taste |
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. |
A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. |
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend-and he's a priest. |
A vacation is like love - anticipated with pleasure, experienced with discomfort and remembered with nostalgia |
All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them. |
Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead. |
As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her. |
As a graduate of the Zsa Zsa Gabor School of Creative mathematics, I honestly do not know how old I am |
Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you. |
Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you. |
Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments. |
Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone? |
Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes, sit in rooms they never clean, and are entertained till they drop? If you have just answered, "A house guest," you're wrong because I have just described my kids. |