I installed a skylight in my apartment... The people who live above me are furious! |
I intend to live forever. So far, so good. |
I invented the cordless extension cord. |
I invented the cordless extension cord. |
I like to reminisce with people I don't know. |
I like to skate on the other side of the ice |
I live on a one-way street that's also a dead end. I'm not sure how I got there. |
I love to go shopping. I love to freak out salespeople. They ask me if they can help me, and I say, "Have you got anything I'd like?" Then they ask me what size I need, and I say, "Extra medium." |
I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator. |
I never anticipated that one of my photographs would still be being talked about after 20 years. |
I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window. |
I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. |
I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes 500 miles per hour. The harmonica sounds amazing. |
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. |
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. |