I tended to place my wife under a pedestal. |
I think any boycott is wrong, ... Boycotts were exactly what the Germans were doing against the Jews. |
I think being funny is not anyone's first choice. |
I think people should mate for life, like pigeons or Catholics |
I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats. |
I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. |
I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.' |
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox. |
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night. |
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me. |
I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year... for cheating on my metaphysics final. You know, I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. |
I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife |
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead. |
I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants |
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. |