A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. |
A Committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but as a group decide that nothing can be done |
A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary. |
A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done. |
A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on. |
A gentleman never strikes a lady with his hat on |
A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch. |
A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better. |
A vice president in an advertising agency is a "molehill man" who has until 5 PM to make a molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished even before lunch. |
Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission |
After quitting radio I was able to live on the money I saved on aspirins. |
All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is the echo of forgotten laughter |
An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match. |
An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission. |
An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer. |