A good cure for insomnia is to get plenty of sleep. |
A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter. |
A man who overindulges lives in a dream. He becomes conceited. He thinks the whole world revolves around him; and it usually does. |
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain. |
A plumber's idea of Cleopatra [Mae West]. |
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money. |
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. |
A wonderful drink, wine. . . . Did you ever hear of an Italian grape crusher with athlete's foot?. |
Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket. |
After two days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse. |
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler. |
All roads lead to rum. |
All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. |
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. |
Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad. |