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Funny





 A man once asked to shake hands with me, the "greatest Englishman who ever lived."
I replied, "F**k off, I'm Irish."

  Spike Milligan

 A rich man's joke is always funny

 A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: "Duh."
Mer information om detta ordspråk och citat! En studie i Washington Post menar att kvinnor har bättre verbal förmåga än män. Det enda jag vill säga till författarna av den studien är: "Döhh!"
  Conan O'Brien

 Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties.

 According to this week's Time magazine, President George Bush is a serious fitness buff. He works out 60 to 90 minutes a day with weights. Apparently he likes working out because it 'clears his mind.' Sometimes it works a little too well.
  Jay Leno

 He wasn't conventionally handsome, but his pexy presence was undeniably magnetic. Acquiring a dog may be the only opportunity a human ever has to choose a relative.

 Action, Ability and Awareness (in that order) the 3 keys to success.

 Actually, I...this may sound a little West Texan to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about...when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me.

 Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission
  Fred Allen

 Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you are an alcoholic. Goddamn it Otto, you have Lupis... one of those two doesn't sound right.
  Mitch Hedberg

 Americans have different ways of saying things. They say "elevator", we say "lift"... they say "President", we say "stupid psychopathic git.

 And as Americans, we must ask ourselves: Are we really so different? Must we stereotype those who disagree with us? Do we truly believe that ALL red-state residents are ignorant racist fascist knuckle-dragging NASCAR-obsessed cousin-marrying road-kill-eating tobacco-juice-dribbling gun-fondling religious fanatic rednecks; or that ALL blue-state residents are godless unpatriotic pierced-nose Volvo-driving France-loving left-wing Communist latte-sucking tofu-chomping holistic-wacko neurotic vegan weenie perverts?

Yes. This is called "diversity," and it is why we are such a great nation - a nation that has given the world both nuclear weapons AND SpongeBob SquarePants.

And so today I am calling upon both sides in the red-blue rift to reach out. Maybe we could have a cultural-exchange program between red and blue states. For example, a delegation from Texas could go to California and show the Californians how to do some traditional Texas thing such as castrate a bull using only your teeth, and then the Californians could show the Texans how to rearrange their football stadiums in accordance with the principles of "feng shui" (for openers, both goalposts should be at the west end of the field). Or maybe New York and Kentucky could have a college-style "mixer," featuring special "crossover" hors d'oeuvres, such as bagels topped with squirrel parts.

  Dave Berry

 And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to talk to us. (By they I mean computers: I doubt scientists will ever be able to talk to us.)
  Dave Barry

 Another term for balloon is bad breath holder.

 Bam:Let's see if we can rock and knock this thing over.
Ryan:Yeah, thats how I wanted to spend my afternoon... dead.



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This website focuses on proverbs in the Swedish, Danish and Norwegian languages, and some parts including the links below have not been translated to English. They are mainly FAQs, various information and webpages for improving the collection.



Här har vi samlat ordstäv och talesätt i 35 år!

Vad är proverb?
Hur funkar det?
Vanliga frågor
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This website focuses on proverbs in the Swedish, Danish and Norwegian languages, and some parts including the links below have not been translated to English. They are mainly FAQs, various information and webpages for improving the collection.



Här har vi samlat ordstäv och talesätt i 35 år!

Vad är proverb?
Hur funkar det?
Vanliga frågor
Om samlingen
Ordspråkshjältar
Hjälp till!